He's my favorite person

I stare at him as he sits with his head resting in his right hand; pensive.

He keeps everything inside...
but, I can see right through him
the truth is always in his eyes.
I find myself afraid to engage him in conversation
I know once I raise a question he will be unable to hold back his tears
Tears that break me down to my smallest element.
He's my favorite person and I am his.
It's as if he suppresses his thoughts and feelings for my own protection.
He is my hero and wants to save me; us.
I want nothing more than to shield him from any and all pain.
I try to explain...
situations I believe are above his level of comprehension
but, he understands because he pays attention
I am both amazed and saddened.
He is my knight and shining armor yet, I'm supposed to be his.
He knows no malice but his spirit is strong
So, strong he weakens me.
He's my favorite person and I am his.
Unafraid he is. Unafraid to say I am his "boss", this is what he believes and I keep him naive to the truth...
it is he who calls all shots.
He turns to me for guidance; prepared to follow as I lead
never questions my direction, forever encouraging.
Unaware he is my motivation; doesn't realize it is he who moves me.
I apologize for my short comings but he does not accept
all he sees is perfection he loves me unconditionally
and "mommy is the best!"
My promise is that things will get better soon
His response eternally secure " I know ma, I love you!"
He's my favorite person 
the light that guides me through the night and brings about a sunny day
Juju you're my everything, I'm o.k. if you're o.k.!

Mommy & JuJu

Empty gardens

 Why, do we continue watering flowers we do not intend to grow?

My belief is that secretly, we hope they will

Problem is, most of us will never admit it.

Not because we don't realize, not because we don't want to, not even because we are afraid of the outcomes. 

Instead, what we do fear is the possibility of having to admit to ourselves we're standing in a garden and all of its flowers have withered.

or maybe even worse;one that is empty

A garden can be filled with flowers all the same

and one be overwhelmed by common color.

Roses can stand beautiful and tall as models on a high fashion runway and suddenly you realize all you never knew you wanted is the one small, white tulip in the corner.

 We fear conceiving or entertaining the thought one might desire nothing more than to witness the blooming of a flower never intended to be grown.

So, the question remains....

Why do we continue watering flowers we do not intend to grow???

 

 #SecretGardens

Tai_Truth

Get Right!

Get like YOU...

NOT like ME!

Tai_Truth

Blurry Wine Nights

Blurry Nights of Wine; sipping thoughts of yesterday refilling empty glass with wishes of tomorrow. My tongue greeted by bitter-sweet memories, awakening my palate with the taste of past adversities. Warmth that seizes time...there's only me and all my reverie; I savor brief felicity on my blurry nights of wine.

 
Tai_Truth 

BCD

Have you ever been kissed?

Forget butterflies

I'm talking spiritual connection

that sends chills down your spine.

Goosebumps
Contraction of muscles and...
Physical phenomenon
that shoots straight to your heart
electric charge
influenced when two beings conjoin one of a human's most erogenous portals
transferring magnetic waves of inner passions
I ask,
Have you ever been kissed?
The kind of force that, holds your soul captive
Apprehensive hearts unite willingly
coerced by their own unity
shoulders weaken
arms grow heavy
Gravity weighs in and pulls you closer to...
catastrophe
but,
oh how sweet is this captivity
Impositions are welcome and infectious
A surface touch
exchanged tactility
a sense of sensibility
bound and disrobed
bare naked sexuality.
Have you ever been kissed?



MUAH!
 

Tai_Truth 

A DOPE CHICK!

Tai_Truth

Hard work, sweat and tears
come walk beside me
 i'll share experience you could never conceive
here... hold my hands
 they remain soft even though I've hung onto ropes so rough you wouldnt believe
This girl's strut her stuff in 4inch heels 
carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders
feeling each groove of my concrete struggle beneath
and though the soles of my feet have felt the burn of a path built on generations of inherited pain
 I walk firmly with confidence
switching my hips without strain
The light in my eyes and vibrance in my smile, suggest I've known love & happiness all the days of my life
but if you looked deeper
the hieroglyphic scars on my heart would narrate quite different
 the story of a goddess and her never ending strife.
 

NEVER ANYTHING LESS THAN WHO I AM!

Truths virginity!

 

 

I'm not interested in blank words without substance
everyone is all too familiar
everything simply the same
Disgusted by common personalities proclaiming individuality
hot talkers and Hollywood walkers
stroll the blvd advertising dreams only they can afford to buy
Every man's a "superman" and truth is kryptonite
They drop "Gee" money on Gucci, Louis, Prada
dress the role of real
and yet still...

authenticity escapes them
no matter the price on the tag...
black market hearts can never be concealed.

Unimpressed with stiff performances
dance does not exist without movement...
try something conducive.
Eluding actions are confusing
Or am I just that elusive?

Overwhelmed with redundance
surrounded by an unknown species all alike
where the only thing thats inconsistent is
the lack thereof distinction
Im the nonstandard atypical,
in search of off base deviance.

An encounter that is different
not yet classified and undistinguished
is this too much to ask?
A moment where affirmations coincide with proclamations
Something different
something rare
like a black pearl
untrained singularity
give me something different
something like...
truth's virginity.

Tai_Truth

"You say you love rain but, you use an umbrella to walk under it.

you say you love sun but, you seek shade when it's shining.

you say you love wind but, when it comes you close your window.

So, that's why i'm scared, when you say you love me". -Bob Marley_

 

What We Do For Love...

It's crazy what we do,
what we do for love...
Risk it all at once
for many moons followed by many mornings...
bringing unforseeable forecast
It doesn't matter though; the weather that is
inside...
inside your shining; inside there's heat.
Heat that screams....
I Love him!
I Love her!
I Love you!
The things we do...
we do, for love.
we humble ourselves to the point of humiliation
unconcerned with situations;complications
as a volcano spits lava from its core, so to do buried feelings
rise...
with revelation
and without explanation
your caught up...
in love.
Thoughts of those who will be hurt along the way race through your mind
fading quickly
holding on as always is that image
which forever faithfully stays; unlimited time
grasp that picture and suddenly
you don't care
you're aware of the consequences
every action has reaction
and you couldn't give a rats ass because
she's your lifelong search for satisfaction
and she's bad...
and your proud of her
and you wanna carry her over the threshhold...
she's always been daddy's baby; baby.
We are stupid, we are foolish
naive and inconsiderate.
we break hearts to mend our own
and tie ropes to hang on making promises to never let go
We live in our minds making our hopes reality and reality the dream we are soon to awaken from
on a morning promised.
Oh what we do,
what we do for love.

Tai_Truth BCD

When I'm alone.

 

Reactions that require no thought
I wake up and keep it movin
no time to slow the pace
Nah, I gotta keep it movin
and so I'm gone.
My mind plays short clips that flash at the speed of light
so fast my body can't seem to catch up
the faster I run, the more I get caught up
held up, wrapped up
hearing all the different voices in my head only makes me wanna scream SHUT THE FUCK UP!
but I can't seem to tune them out

Verbal reminders of where I went wrong
yet that's the least of my neccesities
Don't reiterate my issues becuz i'm living them
see, what I need are remedies.
I've encountered failure at its highest power
and fought back at all extremities.
Whatever the cost
I gave it my all... even if I lost

so, here I am once again askin God, "why me?".
if the last thing that we lose is faith I'm fucked, cuz all I got is half a seed
I grip tightly to the dirt walls of the ditch
all the while making ignorant wishes of how "i wish i was rich"
Cuz Lord only knows my life truly has been a bitch!
I dig my nails deeper as if to claw my way out and when I do
I keep it movin, yea I do I keep it movin
two steps into the next hole
Shit, I can't seem to win for losin

Bills, Bills, Bills
rent, car, insurance
food, gas, and endurance...
yea thats what I need, endurance...
to help me keep movin
to help me maintain
funny how I can find a lot of others to blame
I say it's their hate but I bet they think the same.
fuck it I'm movin, I gotta keep movin
Feelin like a loser right now, I don't wanna keep losin
unintentionally providing laughs for those who find it amusin

but its all good, i'm movin
i gotta keep movin
steady chasin this paypuh
this aint no walk in the park
and I for damn sure aint cruisin
chum change barely enough to make ends meet
I'm drownin in my sorrow and my ego gets the best of me
I don't believe in that word "borrow"
and the reality is I'm broke this shit has gotta be a joke
gettin hard to keep my head above water
Cuz I've begun to choke.

But if know one thing, its that unless I say
"they" will never know it,
I keep it moving, keep it movin
cuz I refuse to show it.
I do not will not accept this
I will not accpt defeat
I am strong and fully capable
so, never will I retreat
but...
when I'm alone I cry.

#Preserverance
#you only reap what you sow...

BCD Tai_Truth

Behind My Shades

Behind my shades I hide...
bare naked emotions and the truths to my lies.
They conceal the portal that leads to my soul
where you'd find all my love for you...
secrets I haven't yet told.

Behind my shades I hide...
photographic memories that broke me down...
deep down inside.
They guard my vulnerability as a tigeress does her cub
because it hurts, it hurt...
watching someone you love, giving someone else your love.

Because when you're placed in a corner and left all alone
you become afraid to share knowledge and all of the outcomes, you already know.
you begin to wish you were blind jus so not to witness all of the pain...
shades to my eyes,
like umbrellas to rain.

Behind my shades I hide...
the belief that I will always be yours and you will...
someday be mine...
so, my heart still remains under lock and key...
till the day you "see through" them and realize
It's Always Been Me!

#AndThenWhat?

-BCD- Tai_Truth

Better Than I Know Myself.

I search high and low to find a piece of me
a piece of me, I know
a piece of me, I don't 
I can close my eyes
and drown out all the voices that surround me with that of a daydreamers tune
I can dream forever
and I have
but now, reality...

I open my composition life book which is wrapped in golden satin garment and embroidered with off white cowry shells, yellow feathers and picture containing the image of a beautiful woman
who's skin is that of perfection... flawless.
I scan the words on the page hoping to find answers between the lines
So many numbers...
I never have been good at math and so I can never seem to sum it all up despite the many times I've tried
There's always a new message
maybe I never will...
but still I try.
I stand before that beautiful woman as if to converse,
but I am speechless. I fear disturbing her with the loud ring of a bell because I can not seem to find the words to say...
so I don't!
I place in front of her the gifts I came baring and then...
I stand there!
Hoping she can hear my heart... hoping that it's beat speaks to her like it were Morse code and she were Samuel, it's creator.
I inhale deeply in attempt to take in a piece of her and possibly know more about myself...
Her natures scent is of fresh sunflowers drizzled with honey and the aura surrounding her shines as brightly as solid gold bricks would, under the rays of the sun.

I wish not to disturb her
I simply desire answers to questions that my tongue knows not how to enunciate because my mind has not related how
it does not know.
I pick up the mirror that she keeps beside her
and I stare blankly at the reflection...
I stare at it and then at her, deeply with no thought...
wishing the mirror were a magic one
wanting the reflection to change and speak to me
but it does not.
There is only my own face staring back and all I hear is silence...
forcing me to remember the last words she spoke to me because it's all I have to work with
I am reminded of what she has promised and this is my comfort.
I imagine she must feel this alone is more than enough and although I am still left blank,
I remain ignorant to her actions
to her reasons and most of all to her plans...
I take a deep breath then exhale profusely within it all doubt, fear, and confusion..
placing my blind faith in her
knowing nothing at all, but remembering one thing...
she knows me better than I know myself.


#MaferefunOchun

TaI_tRuTh

  

Intimidation

Presence is not present by merely your physical presence

Presence is effortless grace that vibrates

It can be seen yet never can it be found,

for it resides far within and is protected by its overpowering heat; somewhat like that of the sun

So, easily noticed yet never to be reached.

My presence is my core and its ultra violet rays pierce and puncture their way through-out my body

therefore I am walking sunshine.

Where I stand I am present!

Where I walk, I serve as guiding light!

Presence is not present by merely your physical presence

your physical beauty is of insignificant importance

for presence is essence

an invariable substance

so it can not be altered or

duplicated

It is a God given blessing

and those in possession are royalty.

I am a Queen!

Presence is not present by merely your physical presence

it is exquisite elegance

dignified

An immortal personification of charisma

The eyes that lock a stare and instantly instill a never ending urge for more.

It is the magnetism in a smile that can never be forgotten

An infectious kiss that seeps in through your lips and finds your soul

and a touch that imposes in on your heart never to leave

it grips tightly and never lets go

My presence made it's presence long before my arrival

I was here before you,

I am here now,

and since my presence is immortal,

my presences is everlasting

Forever I AM PRESENT.

 It's That Glow! You either have it or you don't. 

 

 "My presence is a present kiss my ass!"- Mr. West

Tai_Truth

Keep Me

Look within
Go deep, go deep
where no one's ever gone before...
let me, let me
Inhale my spirit and feel it flow through your body
I don't wanna be just anybodies,
somebody
I wanna be yours!
Place your hand on my chest...
do you feel that?
Pull up a chair and have a seat...
try to write a song to this
million dollar beat.
Do not look into my eyes...
look through them, into my soul
Seek me, see me.
Don't have to say what I feel
I feel it, I show it
I know that you know it
and you feel it too
I know it...
you do!
Repeat, repeat
fear not repetitions of past love wars where you end in defeat.
Fear this because you've never known it before
Crave it, hold it, nurture and love it...
that much more.
Open my scrapbook...
read me, read me
Allow it to do somethin',
Keep me, Keep me!

XoXo,
Someday, BCD

Walk Away!

Ladies, we must.....
try to stop the over thinkin'
over analyzin'
all to end up with answers to questions regarding feelings we always end up over compromisin'
for the douche who made it very clear from the beginning
that he wanted nothing more than sexual healing
yet you continue on revealing all the special parts of you
you claim just vibrate "freely"
and in your mind you're buldin castles made of sand that will be washed away in all due time
by the over flooding waves that pour like thunderstorm rains
and come straight from your eyes....
so stop creatin' illusions and feedin yourself gourmet lies on a silver platter
Just enjoy the moment
never forgetting how much of himself he chooses to flatter
don't try to erase his statements of honesty
restrict your compliments they will only feed his ego...
the only part of him he'll allow to get fatter
hugs, kisses, dinner dates, good mornin text messages, poetry, stimulating conversations
and all that swagga'
he'll put in work!                                                                                                          
remember,
none of it will ever really matter
In his mind, 9 times outta 10 your only another chick that he "likes"
translation,"I jus really wanna bag uh"!
If and when he does, end of session it's wrap!
You dropped your guard
you fell asleep
allowing doosh-bag boy to creep
so you got bitten,
you were smitten by something u knew u neva should'v started
and what once upon a time was all you wanted...
has left, and left you broken hearted.
Now, you wanna press rewind cuz your filled with feelings of regret
replaying every moment in your mind                                                
wishin' you could turn back the unforgiving hands of time                   
So take this small piece of advice and apply it to you..
don't ever play fool to the number rule: Protect oneself at all times by seeing things for what they really are
stay grounded in the moment...
don't ever go too far
and if his conditions conflict with that of your own
remember...
strength is accepting unchangeable things you cannot control...
walk away!

XOXO,
Someday BCD ;)

My Amazing

My amazing is not grace
My amazing's name is Glory
His sound is soothing patience
crisp...
like the air that lingers on a spring's morning
Glory!
His eyes strong and focused
never losing a word
nothing going unnoticed
He reels you in and you are lost...
in the moment
His smile is enticing
never is it phony, fake or compromising
His world; exclusive
Only welcoming to the deep, complicated and priveledged
He's an alien to the land of simplicity and common
yet, appreciative of all...
confident
His freedom does not ring
it bangs, it pounds
vibrates, shakes then breaks
crashes head on into your mind, your heart, your soul...
leaks into your bloodstream and takes total control
Glory!
A disease that's highly contagious
energy levels outrageous
Limitless is he,
amazing...
Glory, Glory, Glory!

Tai Truth

If These Walls Could Talk...

I sit on the edge of my bed and look around this tiny room thinking...
boy, if these walls could talk?!
They would speak of sadness that has not been erased by the bright white paint on its walls
They'd tell the story of who, what, when, where and exactly how many falls.
They would remind you that I've been within them before
If these walls could talk...
They would say they could form oceans with the tears that I've shed
but since my pillows have collected many
they would form rivers instead
Describe to you in detail how I've tortured my bed...
forming a different maze in it every night...
to end up fetal positioned
holding myself ever so tight.
They would say...
"quite often she stares up at the ceiling
through her eyes to him scattered thoughts she's revealing".
If these walls could talk..
they would play back the sound of my voice when I'm having "one of my fits"...
angry and high pitched is how they would tell you I sound...
that they hear me running to them... 
heels hard on the ground.
They'd tell you how I talk to myself as I write
that I shake maracas and bells while praying to soupterines every night
That I look in the mirror every once in a while
looking for happiness...
in a pink painted smile
That I open my phone seeking numbers to dial
on a quest for emotions, since mine are almost drained....
volatile
If they could talk...
they would give this sneak peak
into a world not so pretty
of secrets...
that this pretty girl keeps.

XOXO,
Someday BCD