Friday, December 23, 2011

Spanish Harlem Child

I grew up on the block 110 between Lexington and Park
where Jose's bodega closed at 11:30
but walas lights blinkd red, yellow, green non stop till morning
Where the addicts were a dealers best friend
as long as they were number one pick of where that money was spent

Where the songs of the streets were Hot City nd North Face...
mami y papi danced smooth to their beat, without leaving a foot trace
Those were the days when "that's wassup" was "that's dope"
when Juan could come to the punto nine dollars and fifty cents broke
and Papo next door sold him fifty cents worth of coke
 I grew up on the block 110 between Lexington and Park
where a cab base was used as a fronte for the banca...yea los numeros
which was usually run by a lady named blanca
Out front in her beach chair sat doña carmen... who sold sleepy pills para poder pagar cable
not to mention the viejos and their domino games,
kept their hands in their pockets always jiggling change
where on hot summer days you were awakened by abuela
Yelling, "make it to free school lunch, que hoy yo estoy pela"
so you rush to get out nd  she'd stop you and shout
espera un momento neccesito un mandao...

I grew up on 110 between Lexington and Park
where so many moments of my youth were lived in fear, in the dark
constantly fearing that loud, stern, hard knock
the voice of officer torres saying "we know ur in there, come on open up"

Our memories are many, within each other we've left many a mark
from running through your streets to playing inside your parks
school gave me education you gave me street smarts
even though I now look back and think my past was crazy and wild
in my heart I willl always remain
a Spanish Harlem child
Tai Truth

A prayer to papi

I forgive u pa, t perdono
for all the mistakes that u made which affctd me, which affctd u which affctd us...
I forgive u pa, t perdono
por todas las veces q me hiciste llorar
cuando solo queria yo a mi padre amar
I forgive u pa, t perdono
for allowing a selfish woman to tear u away from ur children y ponerte contra familia y dejarla chuparte todo...
inclullendo tu preciosa vida...
I forgive u pa, t perdono
por darle mas d ti, d tu amor y tu cariño a hijos q ni tuyos eran y pa nosotros a medido compartiste tiempo...
por poner la a ella y los d ella en primer lugar aunque tu decias diferente...
tus acciones dejavan gran duda y preguntas en mi mente...
I forgive u pa, t perdono
por todas las veces q extendi mi mano asi a ti
se me dormia en el aire esperando tranquilita aqui...
tantas fueron las lagrimas q me bevi, hablando por telefono contigo, tantas noches no dormi
I forgive u pa, t perdono
p q nunca confesaste lo q todos ya savian
y dejastes tu dolor llevarte en agonia...
I forgive u pa, t perdono
p q nunca olvidare ese agosto 29 d las una al medio dia
q t vi en tu cama d rey y ni moverte tu podias...
pero mas q todo esa noche yo me acuerdo esto
q a los ojos me miraste a mi...
despues, a el cielo los levantastes y t escuche decir....
"Gracias Papa Dios, que mi hija esta aqui!"
Dies dias pasaron, yo esperando ahi por ti...
pero dios t quiso mas y el lo hiso asi....
Yo pensaba "ya bruja, tu ganastes!" Pero ahora si entiendo pa..
d la manera q tu a ella le repagaste...
Pues por supuesto, elevastes y en el infierno la dejastes...
Ahora veo que no mentias y q nos amabas mas...
Ahora comenso el sufrimiento d ella...
mientras tu descansas en paz... :)
Y nosotros...
pues tus bendiciones recibimos desde el cielo hasta aqui...
Yo t perdono querido papi y t pido...
perdoname tu a MI.....

RIP PAPI Te Extraño!

XOXO, Someday BCD

Still Breaking

Much has changed...
My head is filled with thoughts of past times when I was secure in an insecure dream
Happy not with what it was but what it seemed
and so I tapped
On my walls
The very walls that blocked me in
trapping me within myself.
The walls of what was once a narrow mind
knowing not what I wanted yet
still seeking to find
and so I scratched
Along those very walls which layer after layer only made me realize more that I had and was paralyzing not only my physical being but the energy that once shined brighter than the light of the moon...
the sunflower that I was
restricted its life and desire to bloom.
Self restriction?
While assisted by other people and factors it was only me that allowed
So, I chiseled,
my way through the pain finding many brick spots only causing more damage and draining of my spirit
and then, I gave up!
Not on myself
but on fighting myself.
Then the walls themselves softened, allowing me to crack their shell
letting light shine through
Now, here I am!
I am not out!
I am not free!
I am STILL breaking!

Someday BCD