Monday, June 18, 2012

Better Than I Know Myself.

I search high and low to find a piece of me
a piece of me, I know
a piece of me, I don't 
I can close my eyes
and drown out all the voices that surround me with that of a daydreamers tune
I can dream forever
and I have
but now, reality...

I open my composition life book which is wrapped in golden satin garment and embroidered with off white cowry shells, yellow feathers and picture containing the image of a beautiful woman
who's skin is that of perfection... flawless.
I scan the words on the page hoping to find answers between the lines
So many numbers...
I never have been good at math and so I can never seem to sum it all up despite the many times I've tried
There's always a new message
maybe I never will...
but still I try.
I stand before that beautiful woman as if to converse,
but I am speechless. I fear disturbing her with the loud ring of a bell because I can not seem to find the words to say...
so I don't!
I place in front of her the gifts I came baring and then...
I stand there!
Hoping she can hear my heart... hoping that it's beat speaks to her like it were Morse code and she were Samuel, it's creator.
I inhale deeply in attempt to take in a piece of her and possibly know more about myself...
Her natures scent is of fresh sunflowers drizzled with honey and the aura surrounding her shines as brightly as solid gold bricks would, under the rays of the sun.

I wish not to disturb her
I simply desire answers to questions that my tongue knows not how to enunciate because my mind has not related how
it does not know.
I pick up the mirror that she keeps beside her
and I stare blankly at the reflection...
I stare at it and then at her, deeply with no thought...
wishing the mirror were a magic one
wanting the reflection to change and speak to me
but it does not.
There is only my own face staring back and all I hear is silence...
forcing me to remember the last words she spoke to me because it's all I have to work with
I am reminded of what she has promised and this is my comfort.
I imagine she must feel this alone is more than enough and although I am still left blank,
I remain ignorant to her actions
to her reasons and most of all to her plans...
I take a deep breath then exhale profusely within it all doubt, fear, and confusion..
placing my blind faith in her
knowing nothing at all, but remembering one thing...
she knows me better than I know myself.




1 comment:

  1. It's scary yet comforting how well they know us. We are a pawn in their game to make us better, make us who we were born to be