Keep Me

Look within
Go deep, go deep
where no one's ever gone before...
let me, let me
Inhale my spirit and feel it flow through your body
I don't wanna be just anybodies,
somebody
I wanna be yours!
Place your hand on my chest...
do you feel that?
Pull up a chair and have a seat...
try to write a song to this
million dollar beat.
Do not look into my eyes...
look through them, into my soul
Seek me, see me.
Don't have to say what I feel
I feel it, I show it
I know that you know it
and you feel it too
I know it...
you do!
Repeat, repeat
fear not repetitions of past love wars where you end in defeat.
Fear this because you've never known it before
Crave it, hold it, nurture and love it...
that much more.
Open my scrapbook...
read me, read me
Allow it to do somethin',
Keep me, Keep me!

XoXo,
Someday, BCD

Walk Away!

Ladies, we must.....
try to stop the over thinkin'
over analyzin'
all to end up with answers to questions regarding feelings we always end up over compromisin'
for the douche who made it very clear from the beginning
that he wanted nothing more than sexual healing
yet you continue on revealing all the special parts of you
you claim just vibrate "freely"
and in your mind you're buldin castles made of sand that will be washed away in all due time
by the over flooding waves that pour like thunderstorm rains
and come straight from your eyes....
so stop creatin' illusions and feedin yourself gourmet lies on a silver platter
Just enjoy the moment
never forgetting how much of himself he chooses to flatter
don't try to erase his statements of honesty
restrict your compliments they will only feed his ego...
the only part of him he'll allow to get fatter
hugs, kisses, dinner dates, good mornin text messages, poetry, stimulating conversations
and all that swagga'
he'll put in work!                                                                                                          
remember,
none of it will ever really matter
In his mind, 9 times outta 10 your only another chick that he "likes"
translation,"I jus really wanna bag uh"!
If and when he does, end of session it's wrap!
You dropped your guard
you fell asleep
allowing doosh-bag boy to creep
so you got bitten,
you were smitten by something u knew u neva should'v started
and what once upon a time was all you wanted...
has left, and left you broken hearted.
Now, you wanna press rewind cuz your filled with feelings of regret
replaying every moment in your mind                                                
wishin' you could turn back the unforgiving hands of time                   
So take this small piece of advice and apply it to you..
don't ever play fool to the number rule: Protect oneself at all times by seeing things for what they really are
stay grounded in the moment...
don't ever go too far
and if his conditions conflict with that of your own
remember...
strength is accepting unchangeable things you cannot control...
walk away!

XOXO,
Someday BCD ;)

My Amazing

My amazing is not grace
My amazing's name is Glory
His sound is soothing patience
crisp...
like the air that lingers on a spring's morning
Glory!
His eyes strong and focused
never losing a word
nothing going unnoticed
He reels you in and you are lost...
in the moment
His smile is enticing
never is it phony, fake or compromising
His world; exclusive
Only welcoming to the deep, complicated and priveledged
He's an alien to the land of simplicity and common
yet, appreciative of all...
confident
His freedom does not ring
it bangs, it pounds
vibrates, shakes then breaks
crashes head on into your mind, your heart, your soul...
leaks into your bloodstream and takes total control
Glory!
A disease that's highly contagious
energy levels outrageous
Limitless is he,
amazing...
Glory, Glory, Glory!

Tai Truth

If These Walls Could Talk...

I sit on the edge of my bed and look around this tiny room thinking...
boy, if these walls could talk?!
They would speak of sadness that has not been erased by the bright white paint on its walls
They'd tell the story of who, what, when, where and exactly how many falls.
They would remind you that I've been within them before
If these walls could talk...
They would say they could form oceans with the tears that I've shed
but since my pillows have collected many
they would form rivers instead
Describe to you in detail how I've tortured my bed...
forming a different maze in it every night...
to end up fetal positioned
holding myself ever so tight.
They would say...
"quite often she stares up at the ceiling
through her eyes to him scattered thoughts she's revealing".
If these walls could talk..
they would play back the sound of my voice when I'm having "one of my fits"...
angry and high pitched is how they would tell you I sound...
that they hear me running to them... 
heels hard on the ground.
They'd tell you how I talk to myself as I write
that I shake maracas and bells while praying to soupterines every night
That I look in the mirror every once in a while
looking for happiness...
in a pink painted smile
That I open my phone seeking numbers to dial
on a quest for emotions, since mine are almost drained....
volatile
If they could talk...
they would give this sneak peak
into a world not so pretty
of secrets...
that this pretty girl keeps.

XOXO,
Someday BCD

Spanish Harlem Child

I grew up on the block 110 between Lexington and Park

where Jose's bodega closed at 11:30

but walas lights blinkd red, yellow, green non stop till morning

Where the addicts were a dealers best friend

as long as they were number one pick of where that money was spent

Where the songs of the streets were Hot City nd North Face...

mami y papi danced smooth to their beat, without leaving a foot trace

Those were the days when "that's wassup" was "that's dope"

when Juan could come to the punto nine dollars and fifty cents broke

and Papo next door sold him fifty cents worth of coke
 

 I grew up on the block 110 between Lexington and Park

where a cab base was used as a fronte for the banca...yea los numeros

which was usually run by a lady named blanca

Out front in her beach chair sat doña carmen... who sold sleepy pills para poder pagar cable

not to mention the viejos and their domino games,
kept their hands in their pockets always jiggling change

where on hot summer days you were awakened by abuela

Yelling, "make it to free school lunch, que hoy yo estoy pela"

so you rush to get out nd  she'd stop you and shout

espera un momento neccesito un mandao...

I grew up on 110 between Lexington and Park

where so many moments of my youth were lived in fear, in the dark

constantly fearing that loud, stern, hard knock

the voice of officer torres saying "we know ur in there, come on open up"

Our memories are many, within each other we've left many a mark

from running through your streets to playing inside your parks

school gave me education you gave me street smarts

even though I now look back and think my past was crazy and wild
in my heart I willl always remain

a Spanish Harlem child

Tai Truth

A prayer to papi

I forgive u pa, t perdono
for all the mistakes that u made which affctd me, which affctd u which affctd us...
I forgive u pa, t perdono
por todas las veces q me hiciste llorar
cuando solo queria yo a mi padre amar
I forgive u pa, t perdono
for allowing a selfish woman to tear u away from ur children y ponerte contra familia y dejarla chuparte todo...
inclullendo tu preciosa vida...
I forgive u pa, t perdono
por darle mas d ti, d tu amor y tu cariño a hijos q ni tuyos eran y pa nosotros a medido compartiste tiempo...
por poner la a ella y los d ella en primer lugar aunque tu decias diferente...
tus acciones dejavan gran duda y preguntas en mi mente...
I forgive u pa, t perdono
por todas las veces q extendi mi mano asi a ti
se me dormia en el aire esperando tranquilita aqui...
tantas fueron las lagrimas q me bevi, hablando por telefono contigo, tantas noches no dormi
I forgive u pa, t perdono
p q nunca confesaste lo q todos ya savian
y dejastes tu dolor llevarte en agonia...
I forgive u pa, t perdono
p q nunca olvidare ese agosto 29 d las una al medio dia
q t vi en tu cama d rey y ni moverte tu podias...
pero mas q todo esa noche yo me acuerdo esto
q a los ojos me miraste a mi...
despues, a el cielo los levantastes y t escuche decir....
"Gracias Papa Dios, que mi hija esta aqui!"
Dies dias pasaron, yo esperando ahi por ti...
pero dios t quiso mas y el lo hiso asi....
Yo pensaba "ya bruja, tu ganastes!" Pero ahora si entiendo pa..
d la manera q tu a ella le repagaste...
Pues por supuesto, elevastes y en el infierno la dejastes...
Ahora veo que no mentias y q nos amabas mas...
Ahora comenso el sufrimiento d ella...
mientras tu descansas en paz... :)
Y nosotros...
pues tus bendiciones recibimos desde el cielo hasta aqui...
Yo t perdono querido papi y t pido...
perdoname tu a MI.....

RIP PAPI Te Extraño!

XOXO, Someday BCD

Still Breaking

Much has changed...
My head is filled with thoughts of past times when I was secure in an insecure dream
Happy not with what it was but what it seemed
and so I tapped
On my walls
The very walls that blocked me in
trapping me within myself.
The walls of what was once a narrow mind
knowing not what I wanted yet
still seeking to find
and so I scratched
Along those very walls which layer after layer only made me realize more that I had and was paralyzing not only my physical being but the energy that once shined brighter than the light of the moon...
the sunflower that I was
myself,
restricted its life and desire to bloom.
Self restriction?
While assisted by other people and factors it was only me that allowed
restriction!
So, I chiseled,
my way through the pain finding many brick spots only causing more damage and draining of my spirit
and then, I gave up!
Not on myself
but on fighting myself.
Then the walls themselves softened, allowing me to crack their shell
letting light shine through
Now, here I am!
I am not out!
I am not free!
I am STILL breaking!

XOXO,
Someday BCD