Behind My Shades

Behind my shades I hide...
bare naked emotions and the truths to my lies.
They conceal the portal that leads to my soul
where you'd find all my love for you...
secrets I haven't yet told.

Behind my shades I hide...
photographic memories that broke me down...
deep down inside.
They guard my vulnerability as a tigeress does her cub
because it hurts, it hurt...
watching someone you love, giving someone else your love.

Because when you're placed in a corner and left all alone
you become afraid to share knowledge and all of the outcomes, you already know.
you begin to wish you were blind jus so not to witness all of the pain...
shades to my eyes,
like umbrellas to rain.

Behind my shades I hide...
the belief that I will always be yours and you will...
someday be mine...
so, my heart still remains under lock and key...
till the day you "see through" them and realize
It's Always Been Me!

#AndThenWhat?

-BCD- Tai_Truth

Better Than I Know Myself.

I search high and low to find a piece of me
a piece of me, I know
a piece of me, I don't 
I can close my eyes
and drown out all the voices that surround me with that of a daydreamers tune
I can dream forever
and I have
but now, reality...

I open my composition life book which is wrapped in golden satin garment and embroidered with off white cowry shells, yellow feathers and picture containing the image of a beautiful woman
who's skin is that of perfection... flawless.
I scan the words on the page hoping to find answers between the lines
So many numbers...
I never have been good at math and so I can never seem to sum it all up despite the many times I've tried
There's always a new message
maybe I never will...
but still I try.
I stand before that beautiful woman as if to converse,
but I am speechless. I fear disturbing her with the loud ring of a bell because I can not seem to find the words to say...
so I don't!
I place in front of her the gifts I came baring and then...
I stand there!
Hoping she can hear my heart... hoping that it's beat speaks to her like it were Morse code and she were Samuel, it's creator.
I inhale deeply in attempt to take in a piece of her and possibly know more about myself...
Her natures scent is of fresh sunflowers drizzled with honey and the aura surrounding her shines as brightly as solid gold bricks would, under the rays of the sun.

I wish not to disturb her
I simply desire answers to questions that my tongue knows not how to enunciate because my mind has not related how
it does not know.
I pick up the mirror that she keeps beside her
and I stare blankly at the reflection...
I stare at it and then at her, deeply with no thought...
wishing the mirror were a magic one
wanting the reflection to change and speak to me
but it does not.
There is only my own face staring back and all I hear is silence...
forcing me to remember the last words she spoke to me because it's all I have to work with
I am reminded of what she has promised and this is my comfort.
I imagine she must feel this alone is more than enough and although I am still left blank,
I remain ignorant to her actions
to her reasons and most of all to her plans...
I take a deep breath then exhale profusely within it all doubt, fear, and confusion..
placing my blind faith in her
knowing nothing at all, but remembering one thing...
she knows me better than I know myself.


#MaferefunOchun

TaI_tRuTh

  

Intimidation

Presence is not present by merely your physical presence

Presence is effortless grace that vibrates

It can be seen yet never can it be found,

for it resides far within and is protected by its overpowering heat; somewhat like that of the sun

So, easily noticed yet never to be reached.

My presence is my core and its ultra violet rays pierce and puncture their way through-out my body

therefore I am walking sunshine.

Where I stand I am present!

Where I walk, I serve as guiding light!

Presence is not present by merely your physical presence

your physical beauty is of insignificant importance

for presence is essence

an invariable substance

so it can not be altered or

duplicated

It is a God given blessing

and those in possession are royalty.

I am a Queen!

Presence is not present by merely your physical presence

it is exquisite elegance

dignified

An immortal personification of charisma

The eyes that lock a stare and instantly instill a never ending urge for more.

It is the magnetism in a smile that can never be forgotten

An infectious kiss that seeps in through your lips and finds your soul

and a touch that imposes in on your heart never to leave

it grips tightly and never lets go

My presence made it's presence long before my arrival

I was here before you,

I am here now,

and since my presence is immortal,

my presences is everlasting

Forever I AM PRESENT.

 It's That Glow! You either have it or you don't. 

 

 "My presence is a present kiss my ass!"- Mr. West

Tai_Truth

Keep Me

Look within
Go deep, go deep
where no one's ever gone before...
let me, let me
Inhale my spirit and feel it flow through your body
I don't wanna be just anybodies,
somebody
I wanna be yours!
Place your hand on my chest...
do you feel that?
Pull up a chair and have a seat...
try to write a song to this
million dollar beat.
Do not look into my eyes...
look through them, into my soul
Seek me, see me.
Don't have to say what I feel
I feel it, I show it
I know that you know it
and you feel it too
I know it...
you do!
Repeat, repeat
fear not repetitions of past love wars where you end in defeat.
Fear this because you've never known it before
Crave it, hold it, nurture and love it...
that much more.
Open my scrapbook...
read me, read me
Allow it to do somethin',
Keep me, Keep me!

XoXo,
Someday, BCD

Walk Away!

Ladies, we must.....
try to stop the over thinkin'
over analyzin'
all to end up with answers to questions regarding feelings we always end up over compromisin'
for the douche who made it very clear from the beginning
that he wanted nothing more than sexual healing
yet you continue on revealing all the special parts of you
you claim just vibrate "freely"
and in your mind you're buldin castles made of sand that will be washed away in all due time
by the over flooding waves that pour like thunderstorm rains
and come straight from your eyes....
so stop creatin' illusions and feedin yourself gourmet lies on a silver platter
Just enjoy the moment
never forgetting how much of himself he chooses to flatter
don't try to erase his statements of honesty
restrict your compliments they will only feed his ego...
the only part of him he'll allow to get fatter
hugs, kisses, dinner dates, good mornin text messages, poetry, stimulating conversations
and all that swagga'
he'll put in work!                                                                                                          
remember,
none of it will ever really matter
In his mind, 9 times outta 10 your only another chick that he "likes"
translation,"I jus really wanna bag uh"!
If and when he does, end of session it's wrap!
You dropped your guard
you fell asleep
allowing doosh-bag boy to creep
so you got bitten,
you were smitten by something u knew u neva should'v started
and what once upon a time was all you wanted...
has left, and left you broken hearted.
Now, you wanna press rewind cuz your filled with feelings of regret
replaying every moment in your mind                                                
wishin' you could turn back the unforgiving hands of time                   
So take this small piece of advice and apply it to you..
don't ever play fool to the number rule: Protect oneself at all times by seeing things for what they really are
stay grounded in the moment...
don't ever go too far
and if his conditions conflict with that of your own
remember...
strength is accepting unchangeable things you cannot control...
walk away!

XOXO,
Someday BCD ;)

My Amazing

My amazing is not grace
My amazing's name is Glory
His sound is soothing patience
crisp...
like the air that lingers on a spring's morning
Glory!
His eyes strong and focused
never losing a word
nothing going unnoticed
He reels you in and you are lost...
in the moment
His smile is enticing
never is it phony, fake or compromising
His world; exclusive
Only welcoming to the deep, complicated and priveledged
He's an alien to the land of simplicity and common
yet, appreciative of all...
confident
His freedom does not ring
it bangs, it pounds
vibrates, shakes then breaks
crashes head on into your mind, your heart, your soul...
leaks into your bloodstream and takes total control
Glory!
A disease that's highly contagious
energy levels outrageous
Limitless is he,
amazing...
Glory, Glory, Glory!

Tai Truth

If These Walls Could Talk...

I sit on the edge of my bed and look around this tiny room thinking...
boy, if these walls could talk?!
They would speak of sadness that has not been erased by the bright white paint on its walls
They'd tell the story of who, what, when, where and exactly how many falls.
They would remind you that I've been within them before
If these walls could talk...
They would say they could form oceans with the tears that I've shed
but since my pillows have collected many
they would form rivers instead
Describe to you in detail how I've tortured my bed...
forming a different maze in it every night...
to end up fetal positioned
holding myself ever so tight.
They would say...
"quite often she stares up at the ceiling
through her eyes to him scattered thoughts she's revealing".
If these walls could talk..
they would play back the sound of my voice when I'm having "one of my fits"...
angry and high pitched is how they would tell you I sound...
that they hear me running to them... 
heels hard on the ground.
They'd tell you how I talk to myself as I write
that I shake maracas and bells while praying to soupterines every night
That I look in the mirror every once in a while
looking for happiness...
in a pink painted smile
That I open my phone seeking numbers to dial
on a quest for emotions, since mine are almost drained....
volatile
If they could talk...
they would give this sneak peak
into a world not so pretty
of secrets...
that this pretty girl keeps.

XOXO,
Someday BCD