Pieces of Me...

Who Am I?

I am...
a woman, a mother a daughter, a sister.

Yo Soy Mujer!

I am a lover, a fighter, a giver, a friend...
a natural nurturer but, I will go to war for what's mine
I am both hard and soft
at the same damn time

Yo Soy Mujer!

My voice can vibrate laughter with tears in my eyes
I am confusing and interesting
a Nuyorican raised, Afro Caribeña
heart pulsating arroz con habichuelas

frizzy curled hair & almond shaped eyes
my brows worn thick
my culture is rich

with curves that scream come dance down my hips
experience mi salsa
upon the ones that switch
left to right with hypnotic intensity
unforgettable charisma
you gon' remember me!

Yo Soy Mujer!

Papi taught me how to work for mine
Mami always says the one thing that don't wait is time.
snappin fingers, clappin hands we speak with movement
"Shiiiit, I know that's right"

This Queen has strut her stuff in 4 inch heels
carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders
feeling each groove of the concrete struggle beneath
& though the soles of my pretty little feet have felt the burn
of a path built upon generations of inherited pain...
I was built for the blame

Clustered struggle from my Arawakan Indians
en mi bello Puerto Rico
My native tongue not Spanish...but,
Taino

Si nosotros still exist
The Indigenous people

Gold miners & cotton pickers
sun kissed mami's

I am born of Quality!

Yo Soy Mujer!

-Spunky Tai

If I knew then what I know now, 

I'd take five steps back and just slow the fuck down 

I would've listened to Mami when she'd say "don't rush to get old" Cuz now I'm like "damn ma I should've listened" and she's like "yea mija, told you so"

 my feet hurt from all this running 

Tryna keep up with the thing we call life an on going battle & this here's my never ending strife. I've been shattered, broken up into a thousand pieces

Conflicted, restricted, internally bleeding & some of my worst wounds were surprisingly self-made self inflicted, maybe I just wanna feel pain... I think I just might be going fuckin insane cuz while many have hurt me, its myself that blame... "Well gosh what a shame" that's what many would say... But ashamed I am not! Never have been, never will be. The broken up, broken down, Puerto Rican thickness has hit hard on that ground but she's picked herself up and although it's been rough my heads still held high, "up up to the sky" and who I am is what you see and what you see is what you get and I ain't got shit together to perfection but you probably don't either and yes, my tears flow lightly but that don't make me no weaker... Than those who choose to hide behind their pride cuz their afraid to express that their lives are really a hot fuckin mess... So please spare the pep talks, the do's and the dont's I'm struggling like everyone else but I'm doing better than most... So here's to "life" and this new era of normalized insanity of Hollywood hustlers & glorified vanity. Here's to the strip club runners no longer nine to fivers, the new millennium strivers, them up all nighters... Poppin bottles pourin liquor in the "baddest bitches mouths"  u know the ones wit the  fatties and it's ok if they don't jiggle long as you can drop it like its hot and make a twirk just a little and I'm not tryna throw shade nah I tip my hat to those who get in where they fit but I'm not tryna fit in I'm just tryna be me. 

-Tai #MindFucks #SpokenWords #PiecesOfMe #SpeakEasy #JustPoetry

I don't want a love that's silent, no not me! 

Don't want the kind of love that cannot sing; the kind that has no sense of humor whose laughter doesn't fill the air. 

I want a strong love but not a love that's militant and stern; I want playful & free;

Good love that stares deeply and kisses often.

I want a love that pays attention and appreciates;

I want one that forgives quickly and hugs twice longer.

The kind of love that screams 

"that's my best friend", "my favorite person " and "My Love"

-Spunky Tai 

I woke up this morning with a feeling of determination and a recognition of my persistence... 

I woke up feeling confident although never overly confident to keep me from bowing my head in prayer... And that was all I needed... That connection that left me feeling like whether or not it's today or tomorrow... Regardless, when he says it's time...

I AM GOING TO WIN! 

-Spunky Tai

It's usually the ones you love most that hurt you into numbness... They will never acknowledge your pain but they'll be first to notice your indifference.

-Spunky Tai

Don't ever ask someone not to "waste your time"... It's on you not to let them.

-Tai

What made her different was that once she committed, she was loyal.

And there's this picture of you that I snapped one day...

In the mist of your playful laughter I captured a beautiful moment... 

Your eyes gazing directly at me 

piercing their way through the lense

Your smile almost childlike & hand to your chest, resting on your heart... 

Sometimes when I miss you, I stare at it as if to satisfy the appetite of my soul... Until it gets hungry again...

I love myself!

She woke up one day and realized the pain had made her stronger...

Constantly defying the odds taught her to trust her struggle... & it didn't matter who wasn't there to love her because she'd learned to love herself...

Suicide

Some people simply feel safe in all their misery...

Some are comforted by the certainty of uncertainty 

And consistency of inconsistency 

Some are content with dwelling in the depths of insanity...

Just because they fear nothing better exists...

And that must be a very awful life

Spunky Tai

I'm afraid of humanity
and this new world era...of normalized insanity
Our means of fulfillment no longer speak language conducive to our hearts
We feed our ego's materialistic desire
and conspire
against our spirits
No one wants a fist full of feelings
give me one with cash
cuz I can cry myself to sleep
but, still
i gotta pay this
light & gas

I'm afraid of humanity
and what we're becoming
fearing nothing but to love
we brag about how we no longer trust
and yet we're dying inside
and it is love which we should trust

I'm afraid of humanity and how we boast about no longer wanting friendships
afraid of whats to come of us
when we are done with over glorified forms of affinity

there will be nothing left but puddles of patron and Hennessy
distorted thoughts and retribution
unethical actions provoked by nothing more than confusion...
of minds programmed all alike
Single handed we make choices based upon society's acceptance

and so, I fear humanity...

and I don't wanna be accepted.

spunky Tai

Freedom

If I could describe all the ways that your love makes me feel 

I'd say it is like air to my lungs 

And a touch that has healed- me

Like a caged bird released into the sky 

You are the freedom I crash into 

And I'm soaring, I'm soaring on high

I'm alive! 

I'm alive! 

A weak mans strength

Weak man, you are strong!

Though you've grown faint from your context 

And your sorrow extends 

One hundred miles long

Weak man, you are strong!

Your skin pale, as it does not feel the sun

Only your eyes- watching...

Days come & days gone

But weak man, you are strong!

Oh, how cold your hands from those stone, cement walls 

You crave exterior strength 

But,

Weak man, you are already strong!

Everyday in accordance with the one before 

Structured routine- no way out!

You "can't take this no more"

But, I say to you...

Weak man, stand up straight!

Search for might within...

It is inside your core

Weak man, quit your moping!

Have you forgotten your faith?

You anticipate saving 

But,

Despair does not save

Your body held still

Than so let it be!

Your body be still-

Your spirit run free

Only a man whose spirit lives hopeless can be confined by misery

Weak man, you are strong!

Do not bow your head in anguish 

cuz all seems to go wrong

Bow steady with grace,

For he is your strength-

Through him, you are strong

Weak man do not weep 

Be not fragile anymore

Weak man you are strong!

Weak man you are strong!

Bumps and Bruises

The hardest part about falling is never the hit... It's getting back up!

Spunky Tai

I WAS LIKED BY EVERYONE...

TILL I STARTED TREATING EVERYONE HOW THEY TREAT ME.

Tendencies

So I have this tendency... 

I tend-to-see...

hearts...

And so, 

I love hard 

I love hard for hearts that never tend to me 

That's my crippling tend-ency.

I have a tend-ency 

I tend to feel more than I know

And in the end it tends-to-be...

that I know nothing

Of the love, I love 

Because it don't belong to me

I have this tendency

A habit if you may

A tendency to wait for hearts that choose to walk away.

YOU GON' HAVE TO STRENGTHEN YOUR FAITH IF YOU PRAYIN FOR MY DOWNFALL... IM STILL FIRMLY STANDING! 

Spunky Tai